Today’s “Stumble On” Award goes to the Modern Loss website


Are you ever going about your day and totally stumble onto something great that you didn’t know you were looking for?

I did that just a couple of hours ago.  Through TAPS I had the opportunity to join a web presentation from the woman who runs Modern Loss. I had never heard of this website and now I wish I had sooner.  But, today was the day I was meant to find it, in a sea of millions of websites. – website

It’s really simple, if you have loss and are looking to relate, go to this website and look under “types of loss” or “hot topics” and you will more than likely find something that you can relate to.

Here is the one that I thought got me. I have been trying my best to figure out how you honor the best parts of someone and don’t sugar coat over the fact that they had some messy issues that got all over everyone. This woman does such a nice job of telling me that she spoke her truth, just like I am and it is what freed her to have the healthy move through and mourn grief I am doing.

Thank you to Robyn Woodman for sharing her journey.

He’s Dead, But He’s No Saint – article

Incase your wondering, her husband dies at 29 and she then finds out he never stopped dating woman after they married. What do you do with that? Read it and you will see.

I know this is complicated grief. The label helps, but I don’t always know how to best move forward with this combination of anger and love. She talks about the sainthood that happens after people pass and how know one wants to talk about how the person might have been human and not always perfect.  Hell, I have had to live in the shadow of a woman who has totally been lifted and bronzed into sainthood, my husband’s late wife. I know what that looks and feels like. I never knew her, so I only know her as Saint Donna* and that is OK, as it wasn’t my grief or experience to process.  This is.

For me I had spent so many years not talking about the issues, participating in necessary denial and avoiding conversations that with my dad’s passing I finally felt free from his gaslighting (that is the best term I have found to describe the amount of denial and lying we were all doing to endure each other.) I have been as open and transparent with everyone and anyone that will listen.  That was why I found TAPS, it’s why I started this painting.  I had to find a new way to remember him.  One that had it all in there. It needed to be complicated, smart, beautiful, honoring, and slightly tragic.

Modern Loss was the best thing I have stumbled on recently and I am so glad I did.  Check it out for yourself and I bet you will find a few stories that you can relate to.

Find your grief path and keep moving forward,


*denotes that a name has been changed.